So. The famous Senate of Rome.
My Senate.
For years you’ve lived amidst the decadent luxury of Constantinople, eating the finest foods, wearing the finest silks of Cathay, squandering gold on chariot races, growing fat on wealth of the empire.
You condescend to give orders to emperors and empresses, and then claim credit for their toils, for the blood they spilled to slake your thirst for conquest.
Why have we sainted Valeria? Was she not merely fulfilling the orders of the Senate? Was the liberation of Antioch and the conquest of Jerusalem and Alexandria really any great effort compared to your exertions setting pen to paper?
“Pilgrim Protection”. “Italian Reconquista”. “Nova Mediterranean”. “Next Stop, Africa”. But oh, “Use Caution, Empress”. We wouldn’t want you doing anything rash.

Ah, but perhaps I am but a simple barbarian, and I am merely unable to grasp the true genius of Senatorial classes?

I am descended from the houses of Komnenos and Rurikovich. Perhaps you’ve heard of them?
Oh, but the Komnenos name is what’s important, isn’t it. Well, here are your Komnenoi?

This strapping young lad is the Grand Prince of Sicily! And, why, he’s Catholic, too. Truly, the epitome of the Roman legacy!

Or there’s Gerasimos the Fat. His line’s dominion over Crete dates back to, oh, the reign of my mother, when she took pity on her gluttonous nephew and assigned him the theme of Crete.

Or Makarios of Samos? The model of a Byzantine doux if I’ve ever seen one.

Rest assured, I remember my roots. I respect my mother’s family.

There is a place for these men within my empire.

And they should be grateful for that, since such soft nobles would never survive the harsh winters in Kiev, the Third Rome. For decades, it was Kiev who came to aid of Byzantium when it faced civil war, jihad, foreign invasion. We threw ourselves onto the swords of the Golden Horde while Byzantium stood idle, its coffers empty.

But do not think my love for my true home, for the true beating heart of Kiev-Byzantium, means I am parochial. I am a man of the world.

The Gauhar Ayin Empire, seeking greatness now that they have been freed from Turkish servitude.

The Ilkhanate, their dominion over Persia shattered by civil war, now easy prey for their cousins in the Golden Horde.

Ah, the Golden Horde. The sleeping giant awoken. I remember when my countrymen laid down their lives in a doomed attempt to save territories seized by greedy Byzantine merchants. Do you?

Perhaps I should not judge you, though. Your small state cannot even defeat the Papal State on the field of battle. What hope do you have against the Mongol juggernaut?

At least you’ve beaten Orthodoxy into Pisa! I’m sure it was a titanic battle, worthy of song.

The Jimenas have fallen, but France still prospers.

Unfortunately, the same cannot be said for León, battered into submission by Andalusia, Mauritania, and– what’s this? The Sunni Caliphate?

Arthur the Cruel of England sits idly by while the Catholic Scottish pillage Ireland and Wales. It’s not his problem, as long as the de Contevilles still hold sway south of Hardian’s Wall.

Perhaps Caraale the Just pities the wars and strife which envelop Christendom. Or perhaps he is content to enjoy the fruits of his nation’s outrageous wealth.

Hungary cowers behind the Carpathian Mountains, while their far-flung possessions in Germany and France fall one by one…

Yet perhaps nowhere in Christendom is in such a sorry state as Scandinavia. Catholic Norway strugles with Monothelite Trøndelag, while Orthodox Denmark and Sweden struggle for dominance. Also, Croatia’s there, somehow. Even so cultured and worldly a man as I cannot account for that.

TRADE

RELIGION

PATRIARCHS

CULTURE

(take culture and religion with a GIANT grain of salt since provinces flip way too easily)
WORLD MAP, 1357

So, as you can see, I am well aware of the world we live in. Are you?
Tell me, Senator. When was the last time you stepped outside the Theodosian Walls?
Have you ever?
And yet you call me an outsider, a usurper, a barbarian.
And yet here I am, in the halls of the venerable an honorable Senate, the air buzzing with talk of treason.
I am tempted to execute every last one of you and be done with it.
But surely the emperors and empresses of the past, the great rulers whose blood flows in my veins, saw some worth in maintaining your existence.
So, I will give you a chance. But things will have to change.

Will the following senators please step forward?


Hitlers Gay Secret
Raserys
Amnistar
Readingaccount
Lord Windy
mcclay
Clayren
Blackunknown
Patter Song
Rubix Squid
occipitallobe

You are accused of falsely assuming the dignity of the office of the Black Chamber, plotting against the rightful emperor of Kiev-Byzantium, and treason.
I sentence you to death.

OOC: You can either become new senators and try to make it at least one session without openly plotting to overthrow the emperor and install fascism or whatever, or come back in the next session as your child or sibling or grandchild or etc. The parties are being shuffled, so I can’t really just say “join new parties”, but if you participate in this session, please try to have different politics than the ones you just got executed for.

As for the rest of you… if the Senate is to survive (that is, if you are to survive), it must become something new. Something productive. The factions of old are obsolete.

Kiev-Byzantiune rule over Rome, Constantinople, and Kiev is undisputed. All three Romes are under our stewardship. The Old Romans are obsolete.

: The New Byzantium has been built. The New Byzantines’ work is done.

The Pentarchy is restored, and all Christendom venerates Valeria and the Sainted Emperors. The Milvians’ sacred task is complete.

The houses of Komnenos and Rurikovich have been combined into the great House of Yaroslav. They no longer need the stewardship of the Komnenians guiding their fortunes.

And the New Senate shall be orderly. There is no room for anarchists here any longer.

The senate shall now be divided into the following Committees of State:

THE PHANARIOTE COMMITTEE
Alone amongst the squabbling factions of the Old Senate, the Phanaroiotes stand out as a beacon of wisdom. They shall have a place in the new order. The Phanariote Committee is responsible for matters of scholarship, technology, art, and culture.

Phanariote senators shall wear red.

THE COMMITTEE OF ST. VALERIA
The Committee of St. Valeria shall honor the memory of their namesake by tirelessly defending the church of Kiev-Byzantium. The Committee of St. Valeria is responsible for matters of religion, holy war, heresy, relations with exarchates and other religious vassals, and monastic and holy orders.

Valerian senators shall wear gold.

THE VENETIAN COMMITTEE
Ah, Venice is one of the jewels in the crown of Kiev-Byzantium— its wealth the envy of the world. Except for Somalia. Let their genius inspire you as you tend to the fortunes of the empire. The Venetian Committee is responsible for matters involving trade, the economy, the navy, relations with republican vassals, and non-military foreign affairs.

Venetian senators shall wear blue.

THE VARANGIAN COMMITTEE
You scoff at me, a civilized Tsar of Rome, and call me “barbarian”— and yet for centuries you have cowered behind the Varangian Guard. Let their courage and dedication to the defense of the empire be your exemplar.
The Varangian Committee is responsible for matters involving the army and non-holy wars.

Varangian senators shall wear white.

THE COMMITTEE FOR IMPERIAL INTEGRITY
Oftentimes, the greatest threats to the empire are from within, not without. The treasons of the doukes are well-known. Factionalism runs rampant. Claimants to the throne of Kiev-Byzantium lurk in every shadow. Why, even the sacrosanct halls of the Senate have played host to traitors. The Committee for Imperial Integrity is responsible for matters involving internal security, factions, dynastic concerns, relations with feudal vassals, and the Black Chamber.

Imperial Integrity senators shall wear black.

And now, let us open this first session of our New Senate.

Votes? Don’t be ludicrous. I’m not going to let you vote. Not until you earn my trust.

The Senate is supposed to be a great engine of ideas. So, give me your ideas. I shall hold my own counsel for what to do with them.

Fulfill this task, and perhaps in the future I will restore some of your old privileges.

OOC:
Okay, here’s how this session is going to work:

First, I’m totally punishing all of you because I’m so bad at CK2 I lost the game. Sorry!

Anyway, this session has no voting, so you can simply declare yourself a member of any committee and make a proposal in the following format:

You can make as many proposals as you want, but they all have to fall within the purview of your chosen committee of state, and you can’t change committees until next session. I’ll be generous in interpreting this (i.e., a Venetian Committee proposal might include war as a condition of some foreign policy goal, an Integrity Committee proposal might involve religious or republican vassals in factions, etc.), but if your act is way out there, it has very little chance of being carried.

Because this session is the punishment zone session , the emperor will simply choose the two proposals from each committee he likes the most an enact them by fiat. This will likely change in future sessions.

While there is no formal seconding of proposals under punishment zone rules, debate and discussion is encouraged and will influence the emperor’s decision. A popular proposal might carry in spite of Yaroslav’s reluctance. If it’s not totally stupid.

Proposals can be either laws of the empire or rules of the New Senate. Any committee can propose rules of the New Senate, so you don’t need to try to shoehorn procedural things into your area of responsibility. Changes to New Senate rules go into effect next session, so no retroactively giving yourselves powers in this one or what have you.

 

Empress Theonora fucked around with this message at Apr 17, 2014 around 03:29

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TheMcD posted:

Seems like this is the right place, considering I’ve always been banging on about internal security, administrative improvements and god knows what else. Anyway,

##Propose the What The Fuck Just Happened Act

We just went through a massive inheritance, so the first step should be a complete reorganization of the imperial demesne, as having duchies and counties spread all over the place (first we have stuff in both sides of our major Mediterranean holdings, now additional Russian holdings come in as well) seems very inefficient to me. As such, the imperial demesne should be concentrated around the capital. Whether that capital ends up being Rome 1, Rome 2 or Rome 3 is up to the discretion of the Tsar – considering what just happened, I’d say all bets are off as far as redesigning the imperial image goes. The inevitable rebellions that will be going on soon will surely help with the “redistribution” of imperial holdings.

In addition, the dukes, douxes, whatever the fuck of the realm should be given a once-over. Redistribute counties if necessary to ensure proper de jure distribution.

If possible, duchies surrounding the capital, whatever it turns out to be, shall be destroyed, leaving the counts of the realm directly under imperial vassalage. This might slow technological development in the area, but should provide a strong, solid core for our new empire.

Also, it might be prudent to amend the Tri-Lingual Literacy Act into a Quad-Lingual Literacy Act in order to make incorporation of the Russian peoples into the fold of the Imperium easier.

LordGugs posted:

The Venetian Committee
As a member of the trading class I have seen a major problem that has been overlooked by the previous emperors, god bless them in heaven. That problem is the fact that many different people from many cities are all moving trade across the empire this lack of a central trading republic for the empire has led to a lack of efficacy in our trade policy leading to lack in profits for you my lord emperor. Seeing this issue I ##Propose the Trade Centralization Act: from now on all trade will be handled by one Merchant Republic (perhaps Crimea, perhaps, no reason) in the empire. All other republics will be demolished.

Now I am so sorry I must leave this committee I have business to attend to… in Crimea.

Raserys posted:

Heh. Heh heh. Not one session in the Senate and I’m already headless for it. My father sent me in place of my… problematic brother. Seems he’ll have to join up himself.

I’ll see you in Hell, craven. You order death, but you’re too scared to lift the axe yourself. A head is a head, I suppose. The Roman Empire we’ve served and killed and died for is through, I suppose I’d have nothing to do anyway. History will vindicate us.

…You speak Italian, Tsar…?

Here’s to you, Nicola and Bart
Rest here forever in our hearts
The last and final moment is yours
That agony is your triumph

AJ_Impy posted:

My lineage has espoused the position of the Phanariotes since their very creation. However, even before that, we long stood for matters of faith. I recognise and accept that the Milvian mission is complete, and thus do I strike my colours with a clear conscience. Henceforth, the ΑΙ υποσημειώ Ιμπυ familia shall raise the banner of The Committee of Saint Valeria. Nonetheless, those who claim the name of Phanariote shall forever have us as an ally and fellow traveller.

As the first to claim the Valerian cause, I ##Propose the Universal Ecumenism Act. Let us expand Orthodoxy through peaceful means, sending out our Chaplains to proselytize to the Heathen. Seek out the greatest Pagan power we can and persevere with attempts to convert them as best we can.

YF-23 posted:

As the heir to the title of Founder of the Phanariotes, I feel it my personal duty to wear the red garb. This is a time of great change; and such times provide us with great opportunities. The Empress is dead! Long live the Tsar!

Given this unprecedented opportunity to enact legislation en-masse I also feel it my duty to bring up the historical Milvian/Phanariote legislative proposal of my line, amended to suit the spirit of the times.
##PROPOSE THE IMPERIAL WISDOM ACT
The children of the Tsar or Tsarina are to receive a scholarly, ecclesiastical education, to ensure that the future Tsars and Tsarinas are wise and knowledgeable about matters temporal and spiritual, and so govern through wisdom and knowledge.

##PROPOSE THE QUAD-LINGUAL LITERACY ACT
This act will amend the Tri-Lingual Literacy Act to include Russian as a fourth language.

It is a split that pains me greatly. Let us be allies forever.

Lord Cyrahzax posted:

Well, Unitas will always remain in my heart. _{Thank you for not executing me}.

##propose the Manzikert Act edit: Consider this a future draft.

This Act mandates that we conquer Armenia. In wars against the great Muslim empires of Mesopotamia, fighting either occurs there, or in Anatolia, our heartland. We need an easily defensible and expendable buffer. Armenia was that buffer for centuries, and it should be again. Liberating the Christians there will be the icing on the cake.

I would also like to offer my solution the problem of doukes:

##propose the Mandate of Heaven Act

This Act defines holding more than two themes as subversion against the Emperor. As such, it is a crime against God’s chosen monarch, and merits immediate excommunication. Once excommunicated, the doukes can be imprisoned and dealt with at will. Those without heirs should be castrated.

Gnooble posted:

It would seem to be a proper Roman, one must now seek new examples to emulate…

I will excuse myself from this session of the Senate in order to complete a study of the ancient and noble house of the Junii, and their contributions to the old Roman republic.

Luhood posted:

The Phanariote Committee

Tachat II Qutuzid

Far be it for me to speak against the Basi… forgive me, the Tsar, or for that matter against his heritage, but as a Phanariote I can’t help but be hesitant against the Quad-Lingual Literacy Addendum. Correct me if I’m wrong but isn’t Greek the γλώσσα πανεπιστήμιο, or Lingua Academia for the Latin speakers, of the Russian people as well? The Universities of Kiev teaches in Orthodox Greek, no? And thus, with Greek already being the Lingua Universalis of the northern reaches of Kiev-Byzantium, wouldn’t it be very un-Phanariote to add Russian to the mix simply as a mean of licking up to the Tsar? I believe the Tsar to be a man of wisdom, and thus non-receptive to such clear acts of brown-nosing.

Should Russian become the language of the nobility I would neither mind nor care. But let’s not add it as a fourth language to our Universities simply to appease a man beyond the simple acts of appeasing.

I would rather speak up for the Military Expansion Act, as proposed by Senator Hira of the Varangian Committee. If we are to secure our borders from Papal and Mongol forces alike we need to establish a proper army, and more importantly move away from the current Levy system. Raising an unlimited number of peasants in times of war seems like a good idea, sure, but who will work our fields? Who will write our books? Who will teach the young ones what they need to know to survive if both teacher and youngster are drafted into the military by one of the Doukes?

Nay, I say. Let those who choose to fight fight, or at least give the peasants proper training before sending them out into battle. Professional soldiers, with professional training, will be the strength we need to repel the Mongols and finally oust the Papal usurpers and their near limitless mercenary forces. It will allow us to once again secure the seas, it will allow us to ensure trade flowing freely both on land and on sea. And once the land is stable arts and science can once again flourish, secure in the knowledge that the standard of the Imperial Army will always hold the enemy at bay.

Furthermore:

##Propose the Senatorial Kiev-Experience Act
The Senators have become complacent and decadent over the years, untouched by the horrors of war and the strife of the common man. I propose a journey northwards, to the cold lands of Kiev, to let all Senators see what the real experience of the North is. I have not been there myself, but I have heard many a story from Pechneg merchants about them being able to match up against both Varangians and bears and actually win. It would be a sight to see it with my own eyes, much more to try to learn of their culture – albeit not in such blood-thirsty a fashion, perhaps. We do not want good senators to die, do we now? OOC: In short, try to get the Senators to accept Russian as a non-Barbaric culture.Romani est Imperare orbi Universo, I get it, can we drop the Greek-superiority complex now that our non-Greek Tsar has actually EXECUTED people, at least drop it openly? Show SOME sense of RP at least, please. This is not Flamboyant Schemers 2.0 where the Senatorial Thread is non-disclosed to the Lawspeaker, the Tsar actually know what happens in the Senate.

 

Triskelli posted:

As a fellow senator has pointed out, despite the adoption of Orthodoxy across Europe, the religion is still divided into the East and West, with a Patriarch in Rome and one in Constantinople. This is the situation which allowed the Schism to occur in the first place! Therefore I suggest the ##Regional Patriarchy Act, whereby a patriarch will preside over and shepherd each orthodox nation (or wider cultural region if the case requires) towards the purposes which God intends for them. This also has the benefit of keeping the power of the individual Patriarchs in check by marshalling the rest of the christian world against any one that falls into heresy or seeks to make themselves ruler over the world, as the wretched Pope aspires to do.

E: And to anyone who thinks this foolish, simply look at the map!

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While the conduct of many members of the New Senate continues to gravely concern me, I am pleased that in aggregate you have produced many worthy ideas. Indeed, for several committees, it was very difficult to choose only two laws! I hope that the next session of the New Senate will continue to give thought to issue of Russian, Turkish, and other languages spoken by the peoples of Kiev-Byzantium.
By imperial fiat, I am making one amendment to these laws: The Imperial Consolidation & Prosperity Act shall apply only to the lands and titles attached to the office of Roman Emperor, as my Kievan holdings exist under the gavelkind crown law and shall be separated from my Roman holdings upon my death in any case— I refuse to break up the rightful inheritance of my children.
In any case, while I am Tsar of Kiev and hold several counties, I hold no Kievan duchies. So it’s within the letter of the law.

(OOC: The two “imperial duchies” I’m applying this law to are Thrace, our main holding, and the Tuscan vacation duchy we’ve recently picked up. I’ve also taken the liberty of making the Test of Loyalty act a bit more flexible.)

OOC: While we’re at it, let’s lay down some ground rules for what happens in other game over type situations.
If we get a game over due to somebody of a different dynasty inheriting the throne, we will play as the new ruler of e_byzantium.
If we lose the throne (e.g., if we lose a civil war to a claimant) I will try to regain the throne or become independent for the rest of that ruler’s life. If we fail, the narrative will move back to the real emperor or empress of e_byzantium.
If e_byzantium is destroyed (which, at this point, is vanishingly unlikely, but you never know), I’ll have the thread vote between various successor states to play as.

These are all pretty arbitrary, but it’s good to have a plan in place, since when I got that game over it took me a while to figure out how to deal with it for the LP.